Lunch with mother
I got my car back from Chris about a week ago. It needed a new water pump and some other doo dads I can't describe or explain. All-in-all it runs alot better. I've been tooling around in it during the day when the sun is shining. I take Zoe with me. I put her harness on and attach a leash with a low and high handle. I sit her on the seat next to me and run my seatbelt through the low handle. This way she can stand, but not crawl under my feet causing me to wreck the car. It's nice having company. We go to the park some and I let her walk around a bit near the lake. She thinks the ducks are pretty nifty. Of course, unless you have something to feed the little beggars, they swim off after a couple of moments.
Zoe's not much into dogs. Most dogs bark when they see a cat, so our visits to the park are short. Zoe doesn't actually think of herself as a cat. I believe she sees herself as a superior human. She's a little standoffish, unless she needs some good loving. Between Royce and I she gets plenty of that.
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I had lunch with my mother this past Monday. She picked me up and we ate at Napa Cafe. Cloth napkins and elegant waiters. Very swanky! We both ordered salads. Mine was baby greens with walnuts and chicken in a honey mustard sauce. Yummmmms! Hers had goat cheese balls encrusted with pecans and a lovely salmon steak on top. Definitely a place to visit again!
We talked about serious stuff during lunch. I had a feeling that my mother's been mad at me for about 18 months, so, finally finding the courage, I asked her why. She said she wasn't angry, just hurt. It had to do with when she left my father and moved into an apartment. She said I sided with my father, even though I knew that he was treating her badly. I suppose I did....on the outside.
Legs: "Mom, in my defense, I felt like everyone sided with you and there was Dad all alone."
Mom: "Uh huh."
Legs: "Well, he was so pathetic at the time. You know how he is. It doesn't take him long to turn my head around."
Mom: "No...No, it doesn't."
Legs: (I'm dying here!) "Hey, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I really love you."
Mom: "Uh huh."
Legs: (Somebody throw me a line!)
Mom: "It was more than how you acted. It was what you said to him. I feel like I can't confide in you any longer."
Legs: "What did I say to him?"
Mom: "He said you told him that I said he had probably sexually abused you as a child. He said you denied that any sexual abuse had ever taken place. He went to others and told them. This has caused alot of problems for me."
Legs: (silence, stares off into space.)
Legs: "I may have told him that you believed he had sexually abused his children. But, I never told him that he didn't do it. I'm sorry I said anything to him. He has a way of getting to me. So who did he talk to about this?"
Mom: "He spoke to Calvin, Steve and David. Maybe others. They in turn spoke to me."
Legs: "I wonder why they never asked me what I said? Instead of hearing it secondhand from him. Hmmmm. I'll definitely set them straight the next time I see them."
Mom: (munches at her salad and smiles)
I hope she trusts me a little more than she did. It's going to take some work to fix our relationship. I'll start by staying away from Dad.
3-14-03@2:50 p.m.